A Divorced Father

I am a 26 year male. I have had to put up with three of my mothers divorces. So I am writing about my fathers that my mother chose. In my opinion the best thing that you can do for your children is give them consistency.

My biological father divorced my mother when I was an infant. I have never in my life seen my parents in the same room together. I never expected them to even communicate. My father had a rough time through his divorce. He did not have custody over us. All I can remember from those early ages was that he never had any money to sustain a family. He was poor.

Throughout the years of my schooling I was living with my mother and my step father. I would only get to see my real father about three times a year and usually for no more than a weekend. He had married another woman and settled into a permanent location. I have to say that it is the most beautiful place on earth! Every time I went to visit I was treated as a prince. He made sure I had everything I needed and more importantly to a child everything that I wanted! He lived in a remote area where even electricity was hard to have and maintain so a generator kept the lights on. This was an environment that every “Huckleberry Fin” would dream about. It was in the middle of no-where. It was actually a remote fishing lodge.

The older I got the less pull my mother had on me and the more I visited my father. He taught me all the secrets of DIY. I found this fascinating. I don’t know if I enjoyed it because he was good at it or if I just had a natural liking for it. At the age of 14 years I could strip and rebuild the generator whenever there was a problem with it. I was proud to have such a skill. Eventually I was building and overhauling Landover engines and boat motors. I loved my father dearly.

He would let me explore the wild waters infested with crocodiles on my own and even let me take a few nights out on the water camping with my friends. There was no adventure like a fishing trip with your friends. Particularly because he knew we would always have a cooler full of beers. My father trusted me and knew I was reasonably responsible to keep my friends from causing disasters in the wild, not to mention any in particular but there were some close calls. He would always laugh when we came home a couple nights later with no food, no fish and no beer and would say “at least you caught a sun tan”.

There was always a time when I had to leave paradise and return to my mother and her over achieving husband. I respected my step father for his accomplishments. None of which could compare to the bond that my real father had made with me. My step father had five children of his own. All of them are older than me. I looked up to the boys. They were exceptional sportsmen. My step father had won gold medals and pushed his children to the limit. He was more proud of his sons than anything and nothing else mattered to him. He was also financially responsible for me. So when I didn’t perform at anything there would be hell to pay. He was exactly the opposite of my real father. I didn’t hate him or have any negative attitude toward him. I managed to live up to his expectations and formed a reasonable loving relationship with him. I have him to thank for a few disciplines I practice in my everyday life.

Over the years as my future steered its way to where I am now the most prominent father figure was my step father. He has been the reasons why I have made my choices today. It has been because he was always there for me. No matter what the case was. I went to the same schools as my step brothers and was influenced largely from that side of the family. My life altering decisions always involved my step father.

My real father gave me the entire leniency that I wanted and never imposed on my life in anyway. It was as if he acted liked a “getaway” for my reality. I have always regretted that because there is no one that I love more than him. Now that I have moved away from home and I am living in a separate country I have not spoken to my father for over five years. I think I am going to give him a call right now!

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